One of the most common complaints that women have about their partner is that after a while the guy just stops doing all the nice things that he used to do when they first dated.
It seems that when the guy knows that he has her, he’ll take her for granted.
Although some men will take their significant others for granted, often the problem has more to do with differences in how men and women value things. Men tend to value things in a very proportionate manner. Big things are valued a lot. Little things are valued a little.
Since small things have such little value, a lot of men couldn’t be bothered with them. That’s why a man’s apartment tends to be austere compared to a woman’s. His apartment decor will reflect the few big things that really matter to him and nothing else.
His long term approach to a relationship is similar to his approach to decor. The big, grand gestures are what matter. The little things are just that, they’re little and therefore aren’t bothered with.
So when a guy first dates a woman, he knows that there are certain little rituals that he must observe in order to get her interest. After the relationship is more established, he reverts to his usual value system and stops doing the small things for his partner because small things are meaningless trifles to him.
- Men often need only three dates to know that they are falling in love. Women take almost five times longer (about 14 dates or so) to know if they are in love.
- A man greatest fears about entering a new relationship with a woman is that she won’t allow him enough free time, she will get between him and his friends, she will lose respect when she knows him better, or she will require too much maintenance.
- Because they are more sensitive to sounds and smells, women place a greater importance on the “atmosphere” of a place or room.
Women tend to place equal value on everything, big and small. So when her partner stops doing all of the pleasant dating rituals, she begins to feel unappreciated.
What is important then, is to understand this difference in values between men and women and to make an effort at expressing your affection in lots of small ways. You will need to do this frequently. If you keep up with the small gestures, you won’t have to make as many big ones.
Remember that although your gestures will be small, your objective, which is a strong relationship, is very big.
9 Things That Keep Every Relationship Going Strong Every Day
1. Schedule "Me" Time
"Every relationship needs 'no-relationship' time. You work all day, so when you get home you feel like you have to be with your partner for the rest of the night. No good. Let him work in the garage or play video games while you do yoga or watch the show you DVRed two weeks ago. Have an hour of 'me' time every day."
"Laughing is the key to my relationship. Even when we are stressed or frustrated, we try to find something to giggle about. It always pulls us out of a funk."
"No matter how busy our work lives are, my girlfriend and I check in when we have a moment. It's quick but says so much about being in each other's corner and making each other a priority."
"… Even if it seems like something insignificant. We're in the midst of home improvement, and complimenting my man's dry-walling or sanding skills helps alleviate the strain of remodeling and makes him happy."
"Hands down, no questions asked: a kiss and a hug every single day. Touching is so important!"
"Sleep together. It's a good stress reliever, and everybody's happy."
"I feel that our relationship stays strong because we really respect each other enough to be honest and up front in our communication at all times.
"It is so simple, but tell your partner 'I love you' every day — and mean it."
"We try to go to bed around the same time at night and lie there for five to 10 minutes and just chat about anything and everything. That time when nothing else is going on has become something we really look forward to."
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